I recently heard about the 5 whys method. The goal of this method is simply to ask 5 “Why?” questions to come up with the right solution to our problem. Sometimes the initial problem is not the main reason for our difficulties and we need to peek deeper to see what lies behind it. We think that other people are the ones who inflict suffering on us, but sometimes it can turn out that ourselves that are creating the problem. Therefore, it is necessary to separate ourselves from emotions because the initial and impulsive reaction to the problem is probably not the best solution.
Example:
I felt bad all day. Why?
I failed to make good and quality decisions. Why?
I was tired all day. Why?
I went to bed too late. Why?
I was watching a movie. Why?
I don’t want to face my thoughts.
Possible solutions:
- Move away from digital devices earlier and read a book instead
- Meditate before going to sleep
- Study the methods by which one can go to bed earlier, etc.
Although this method provides one well-defined framework, it is also possible to customize it to suit our needs. For example: we can ask more or less then 5 questions, or we can ask questions other than “Why?”
Katie Byron, writer and public speaker, offers a method “The Work” where the goal is to ask 4 questions about some uncomfortable situation:
- Is it true?
- Can I absolutely know that it’s true?
- How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
- What would you be without that thought?
And than the task it to reverse those thoughts and change perspectives.
In general, the idea is to rethink our beliefs, and perspectives so that we can see the real problem and so that we can find the right solution to the problem. In the end, we don’t want to waste time and solve the wrong problem. The real problems are often hidden deep inside us and start with the little things and habits we do every day.