Were we in a situation where we said to ourselves:
- I know I have to prepare for the exam, but I always find an excuse to run away from learning
- I have to wake up, but I want to just lie down for another 5 minutes… And then after 45 minutes you say to yourself again: only 5 minutes more
- I would love to engage in some new activity (e.g. writing a blog), but I never have time
- By no means can I finish what I start
If such situations have been repeated, then it may seem to us that we can never get out of certain cycles of behavior that drag us downstream. Questions arise:
- How to do something until the end?
- Why do we feel some kind of a barrier when we want to do something that we like?
- Why does something pull us back every time we move forward?
- Where is that initial passion we felt?
And then in that mess of thoughts we suddenly see only excuses. We start to hesitate and get closer to giving up. Still, we will never be comfortable doing something new. We can see that we will turn out to be fools, and who else wants to look stupid in front of others.
But maybe that’s exactly what we should be doing. To program ourselves to strive for the greatest discomfort. That is, to love discomfort.
As an aid in dealing with the discomfort and anxiety that keep us away from achieving our goals, I suggest 4 ways.
CHANGING THE ENVIRONMENT
In order to increase the focus, it is very helpful to create an environment in which there will be no distractions or to place certain objects that represent our working atmosphere. Examples are:
- Turn off all devices except the most needed ones
- Wear clothes that suit the work atmosphere
- Get away from the room where one sleeps
- Lock yourself in the room and put on the headphones
- Run an application that will not allow you to log in to social networks
CREATING A SENSE OF URGENCY
In order to feel the rush and pressure we can set a realistic deadline by which we need to complete the task. The higher the pressure the more ready we are to move away from other tasks and find ways to finish our work. The point of focus becomes exactly the specific goal we have set for ourselves and we stop thinking about possible excuses. The most important thing is that we must have a subjective sense of punishment if we do not complete the task for a particular goal. It is this feeling that will force us to continue working.
Eg. if we are a person who keeps his word then we can promise all our friends that we want to do our task by a certain date. That can give us a sense of urgency because if we don’t fulfill that we can disappoint them.
FINDING A DEEPER MEANING
Why am I doing this at all?
In this question, there is an answer that can give us additional strength even in the most difficult moments. Then we can see how unique we really are in accomplishing that task and how that idea can only be accomplished through us.
We can also think in a way that takes the focus away from ourselves and directs it to the community. Therefore, we can ask ourselves the following question:
Does my work change the lives of others around me?
Because if we do something for the sake of others, then it is not a problem to run another extra kilometer to the finish line.
BECOMING AWARE OF THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS
By becoming aware of our condition, we can see that we are not really our emotions. In this way, it is easier not to connect with unpleasant feelings that take us away from the goal.
Every time we do something new we will feel stress and we will find excuses such as:
- I’m too old for that
- I can’t do that
- It has been proven so and so
But perhaps it is precisely this stress and despair that tells us to move, not to stay put. The question is do we read our emotions correctly? It is possible that we should move towards this discomfort, and not run away from it. Sometimes we will create all possible excuses as a reaction to the novelty and to achieve a goal that is not in line with progress, but sets us back and keep us in the comfort zone.
RESTING
After each strenuous energy consumption, it is necessary to recharge the batteries to be ready for the next ventures. Sometimes it’s better to walk away when we see work overwhelm us. I’m not saying we should run away from the discomfort by resting, but that the phases of effort and rest should be intertwined.
Muscles grow during the rest period. We need sleep to keep functioning the next day. Use vacation as an opportunity to grow. Take advantage of the holiday by broadening your horizons on the problem.
We will always feel uncomfortable. So go now because you can always find an excuse.
I recommend this great podcast that inspired me for this article: